And They Said Speak Now
by TwelveTurquoise12
Summary: After five unsent letters, Yada finally decides to confess to Kataoka. Written for Assassination Classroom Femslash Week 2019 Day 3: Letter/ Flower.


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.**

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**A/N: Written for Assassination Classroom Femslash Week 2019 Day 3- Letter.**

**Also known as "the five letters Yada never sent out and the one she did".**

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_"I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now."_

_~ Taylor Swift _

The crescent moon dangled above her in the velvet black sky; a constant reminder that the world could end in a month. Unable to sleep, Yada Touka tossed and turned in her bed, yet she couldn't find a comfortable position.

Tomorrow was Valentine's Day.

Quite possibly the _last _Valentine's Day.

Something churned in her stomach. Anxiety? Restlessness? The feeling that she was standing there, letting something precious slip past her?

Yada tossed her blankets off. She slipped off her bed and took out a small box from under her bed. Her hands hesitated, then she pulled off the pink bow around the box. In the box were five pristine envelops, each one filled with a handwritten letter.

Yada felt a blush rise to her cheeks. It was embarrassing, wasn't it? Writing stupid, unsent letters to her unattainable crush. Her unattainable crush of two years.

But since she couldn't sleep anyways, she decided to reread them.

Probably a bad choice, but a part of her wanted to know what she had written and felt in the past.

So, she gingerly opened the first envelope.

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_Dear Kataoka Megu-san, _

_It seems weird writing to you, because I don't think you'll spare me a second glance anyways. But I've heard that writing things down can get it out of the system. And I have a lot of thoughts and emotions buried inside me. _

_Do you remember how we met? It was at the beginning of this year, our second year at this school. I was self-studying in the school library. And then you stepped out of nowhere and sat next to me, even though there were many other empty seats. _

_My first impression of you was that you were very tall and your eyes had an interesting colour. They were the colour of olives and honey with a tint of grey and sparkled under the sunlight. But I was still confused on why you sat next to me, when you lowered your head and whispered in my ear, "There are some boys staring at you."_

_I looked and indeed saw a few boys at the other table. Once you gave them a glare, they immediately turned away. _

_"Thank you," I said. _

_You smiled at me. I vaguely remember thinking you had a nice smile. _

_"No problem. By the way, I'm Kataoka."_

_We didn't do much after we introduced ourselves. We were both studying for maths, so when I didn't know how to do a question, I asked you. _

_But even though there wasn't much interaction between us, I still felt happy to have you by my side. Oddly happy, even. _

_I remember when other people joined our table and our seats became more squashed. Your arm pressed against mine and we basically stayed that way. _

_Instead of feeling uncomfortable, like I would around most people, it felt… nice. Safe. Even though I had just met you._

_There was this strange bubbly feeling in my stomach. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before. I just took it that I was overwhelmed by your niceness._

_I didn't dwell on it too much until later, when you had left and I had also left the library, and was still thinking of the incident days later. _

_I asked myself, "What is this feeling?"_

_I learnt from our peers that a lot of people- especially girls have crushes on you. And I wondered if I was just like them, a stupid crush, a "forbidden" (?) relationship._

_I didn't know what to feel. I was very confused by the entire situation but somehow, the library incident kept stubbornly sticking in my head. And whenever I passed by you in the corridors, I was reminded of your kindness and pretty eyes and nice smile. And I somehow didn't have it in me to look at you in the eye. Yet I still felt happy when I saw you. _

_I think I have a crush on you, Kataoka-san. It's still very puzzling for me, but I don't think my feelings for you are merely platonic. _

_Yours, _

_Yada Touka-san_

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Yada made a face at her old handwriting. It looked so childish somehow, compared to her current handwriting. She found herself cringing more and more as she read the letter, but there was something just so endearing yet so exasperating about how little her previous self knew.

With a little sigh, she opened the second envelope.

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_Dear Kataoka-san,_

_I still don't know why I'm writing this letter. I know I have a crush on you, but it's not like I'll ever muster up the courage to send this to you. _

_You're so cool, Kataoka-san. My friend Rio-chan dragged me to the swimming pool and I saw you practicing there. I think you're so graceful yet powerful when you swim, and I know you keep on pushing yourself to do better. You're so pretty and so cool. _

_Sometimes I see you helping other students with their work and I inwardly marvel at how _nice _you just are, how you're willing to sacrifice your time, how you're practically perfect in everything you do. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we were in the same class. Would you help me with my grades? Would we spend more time together?_

_These are just stupid thoughts. Stupid, stupid thoughts. I wonder if you still remember my name. _

_Can we ever be friends? I don't even think so. I mean, despite my crush on you, I obviously would be happy even if we're just friends. Because that's enough for me. _

_But as of right now, we're just random classmates that happen to see each other once in a while in the corridors. _

_It's like you're the protagonist, the star, and I'm just there, standing on the sidelines, wondering if I'll ever play a part in your story._

_A part of me hopes that will change. A part of me is scared of change. _

_I don't know what to feel. _

_Yours,_

_Yada Touka-san_

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Yada slipped the letter back in the envelope. As her fingers ran across the third envelope, she remembered she wrote this when she was first in 3-E. Before Korosensei, when Aguri was still her teacher.

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_Dear Kataoka-san,_

_I can't believe that we're in the same class. To make matters worse, we're in 3-E. I feel terrible, but yet supposedly there's a bit of a silver lining? That I'm with you? But that doesn't excite me at all. _

_I hate how depressing our class is. I can see you, one of the class reps, trying to monitor our behavior and keep things in order. It's absolutely incredible how you can maintain such a demeanor._

_The delinquents keep on ignoring you, but you still talk to them with such determination and grace. You're not scared of them even if they're bigger and stronger than you. I don't think anyone else (save for Isogai-kun) could've handled it as well as you._

_Another thing is that we're somehow speaking to each other now. Maybe it's because we have to work together for group projects. And I want to help you with maintaining class order. I think we get along pretty well- somehow._

_I watch you walk around the classroom and help people with their schoolwork with such a perfect smile and when you lean over and teach me to do a question, it feels like I'm falling for you all over again. _

_It feels like my brain can't function around you and my heart is going to jump out of my chest. I laugh to cover it up, but you still patiently teach me over and over again if I make the dumbest mistakes._

_I giggle nervously and hope my brain stops freezing with you nearby. You don't seem to mind my sudden nervousness, though._

_And then your bangs go over your forehead and you casually sweep them away and somehow that little action gets me every time._

… _You know, these all seem like stupid reasons to like you. But it's these simple, little things that touch my heart. Because it's wholly you._

_I don't know what this year will bring us. I don't have a lot of optimism (this is the E-as-in-End class after all) but I hope we can be closer._

_Yours,_

_Yada_

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Yada had to force back a grin. Little did her past self know she and Kataoka would be best buddies now. It was funny and sad to see how she used to believe Kataoka was so far out of her league, they couldn't even be friends. That just proved how much change could happen in a year. She opened the fourth envelope and let the letter drop onto her lap.

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_Dear Megu,_

_I can't believe the life I'm living right now. Like, there's Korosensei and assassinations. I've gotten closer with everyone and it's so much fun. Bitch-sensei is actually really great (despite what you may think) and she's like the fashionable, crazy older sister I never had. _

_Also, we're friends now… I think? Yeah, we're friends. A part of me still can't believe it. But we're hanging out and it makes me so happy to be with you :D_

_I'm definitely a lot less nervous around you now. I see you as someone approachable, a friend, not as a distant goddess. And that's a lot better than me pining after you like a fool._

_Sometimes I wonder if I'm being too clingy. Like at the Island incident where I kept on sticking to you. But I guess that's sort of reasonable, because the entire situation was terrifying and we needed support and care? You either don't mind, don't care or you don't show how you feel. Somehow, I don't think it's the latter._

_Am I being too obvious with my feelings? Do I make special exceptions for you because I like you? So far, no one has really commented on any crushes I may have, which is a relief because I absolutely hate having people pry into my life. But I feel like I do extra stuff for you, like volunteering to stay back and clean the classrooms with you and cheering for you during training sessions. These are normal activities friends would do, but I think I may be a bit too enthusiastic because of the added layer of my not-so-platonic feelings. Haha, it's weird isn't? _

_There's also the fact that I feel safe around you. Maybe it's because you're the class representative. Maybe it's because you're cool and strong and fearless. Maybe it's just simply because of your presence._

_I wish things could stay like this forever, us sitting side by side, laughing about ludicrous assassinations. I know it's impractical as time will pass by, so I'll just hold onto these memories._

_Yours, _

_Touka._

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Something tugged at Yada's heartstrings, and her lips quirked into a bittersweet smile. The year, filled to the brim with eye-opening craziness and unforgettable lessons, was about to end. There was only one month left till the assassination deadline and their graduation. The year was unbelievably quick, yet it felt like several years condensed into one due to her many new experiences. As her fingers found the final envelope, Yada recalled this letter wasn't as happy as the other ones. She bit her lip and read it anyway.

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_Dear Megu,_

_I sometimes think about what's going in your mind. Not in a creepy way, of course, but just out of curiosity and my desire to know you better. _

_I think about who you may like. What your "ideal type", if you have one, could be. I know you're rather exasperated by the letters you receive (from girls, especially), which makes me nervous to actually write and send one to you. But have you felt happy and beloved by reading those letters? By having people confess to you? By being given chocolates? Or rather did you feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable? If I ever confess my feelings, will I ruin our friendship?_

_The class has noticed that you and Isogai-kun spend a lot of time together. Which is natural, as you two are the class reps. But they, as chaotic shippers, have started to speculate a potential romantic relationship between you two. And I admit, you two do look great together. As partners, a couple, friends, whatever. The Ikemen and the Ikemegu. The perfect duo. Everybody likes you two. You and Isogai-kun probably receive the most (honmei) chocolates on Valentine's Day._

_You speak highly of Isogai-kun. Of course, everyone does too. But due to the rumours swarming around the school, I can't help but picture you two as a potential couple. And I know no one except you can compare to him._

… _It's sad. I don't really have a chance with you._

_But dumbly, I still cling onto the hope, my stupid fantasies of you noticing me. After all, I'm still writing this letter even though I'll never send it to you. And we're good friends now! No one knows what the future holds, and anything can happen. I mean, a wacky ex-assassin octopus became our teacher, so ANYTHING can happen._

_Even though I say that, I know I'm only comforting myself, trying to distance myself from reality. Anything can happen, but seriously, what are the chances? I'm just... me._

_You're probably going to get Isogai-kun chocolates on Valentine's Day._

_You're probably get chased after by hoards of people in high school._

_Even if you end up with someone, you won't end up with me of all people. It's just… a little pipe dream I have._

_But it's okay. I hope I can still be friends with you after we graduate._

_Still yours,_

_Touka _

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The night was silent and the air was heavy. Yada could hear her own soft breathing and see the gentle rise and fall of her chest. It felt quiet, too quiet. Something, was ceaselessly hammering on her heart, demanded to be freed inside her.

Yada returned the fifth letter and nudged the box under her bed. "Out of sight, out of mind" didn't work.

"Fine," Yada muttered to herself. She stood up, stretched her aching legs (she'd been crouching for too long) and went to her desk. She turned on her desk light and hunted in her drawers for a sheet of paper. Yada went with a white piece of paper with a border made out of cute animals. It was cutesy enough but not too overboard. Her lucky purple pen in hand, Yada set the paper in front of her and went to work.

After a bit of hesitation, the words flowed from her, sometimes stopping as she debated what to write. Although it was the dead of night, Yada had a clear mind and knew what she wanted to say.

After years of pining, it was time to make her feelings known.

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Next morning, Kataoka was bombarded with love letters on the way to school. Although she wanted to get to school faster, she put on a smile and accepted the letters. One letter was followed by another, and even though Kataoka was already accepting a lot of letters, they just seemed to flood her. By the time Kataoka actually got to the 3-E campus, her hands were overflowing with letters.

She dumped the letters on her desk and sat down. It was then she saw a corner of a white envelope peeking out from the inside of her desk

Kataoka carefully extracted the envelope. It was another love letter by the looks of it. A love letter from someone in her class. Anticipation and nervousness leapt in her throat.

_Someone _wrote her a letter. Someone wanted her to read the letter.

Wanting some privacy, Kataoka left the classroom and went to the forest behind the campus. She brushed some snow from a rock and sat down.

It was a simple-looking letter. There weren't any hearts nor was it written on pink paper. However, there was something about the letter that immediately made itself well-known to Kataoka's eyes.

The handwriting.

She knew that handwriting all too well.

It was Yada Touka's handwriting.

Kataoka's heart leapt from her throat, then settled down with a warm, fluttery but hesitant feeling.

To be honest, Kataoka actually had a feeling that Yada had romantic feelings for her, but Kataoka had just brushed those away, believing she was thinking too much.

A thousand thoughts were running haywire in her mind, but Kataoka chose to focus on the letter first.

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_Dear Megu-chan,_

_It's a surprise, isn't it? There's no beating around the bush now. I like you. I, Yada Touka, like you. Really like you. _

_I'm hesitant on writing this letter, but since it's possibly the last Valentine's, and the fact that I've hidden my feelings for too long (two years), I feel the need to tell you. _

_It's okay to reject me. Don't feel obliged to soften the blow (in fact, it's probably what I need lol). I'll be fine. _

_Am I scared? Of course I'm terrified! But more than ever, I need to tell you my feelings. _

_Remember when we first met? When you sat next to me in the library. I remember it vividly. You were there when I needed you and suddenly just like that, I fell for you. And that crush lasted for too long. _

_My brain couldn't function around you and I kept on sneaking looks at you during your swimming practice and admiring how elegant your form is. _

_You've probably had hundreds of letters telling you how brave and cool and smart you are. And you are. _

_But you're not some untouchable senpai. You're my friend. You support me and the class the best you could and I appreciate that so, so much. Remember when I broke down when my brother's condition to a turn for the worse? You were there with me. You hugged me and comforted me and helped me through some of my darkest times. You were there for me. When my tears fell like a waterfall and even I didn't want anything to do with myself. I'm eternally grateful for you (wow, that sounded so formal lol)._

_I've learnt a lot this year. Assassination skills. Infiltration, especially, from Bitch-sensei. In infiltration, you have to be assertive. Seize the opportunity. Such as at the island hotel when I had to whip out the yakuza coin just in time or else it wouldn't work. _

_And when I was looking back at the past year, I realized, I don't want everything to end without me telling you all this. You would probably end up alone or with some ikemen like Isogai-kun. The chance that you would return my feelings is low. _

_But I still have to tell you. I don't want Valentine's to pass with regrets. The feelings have been cooped up inside me for so long, it feels like I'm about to burst. _

_I don't care whether you like me or not. I just need an answer. A solid answer that won't leave me hanging._

_You can say we can just remain friends. That's totally fine! I'm more than happy to be friends with you. _

_But I like you, Megu. I like you a lot. Maybe I even love you. Perhaps "love" isn't the correct term. I feel strongly about you. I just want you to be happy and I want to be with you. _

_I'm deeply sorry if this ruins our friendship. If you reject me, please __**please**_ _don't leave me. I'll get over you. The last thing I want is our friendship to be gone. _

_Just tell me how you truly feel. That'll be enough for me. I'll accept whatever you say._

_Still yours, _

_Touka._

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When Yada saw Kataoka walk out of the woods, she saw her expression. A soft look, yet her face was practically glowing. Kataoka spun to see Yada and her smile was brighter than the sun.

And it was at that moment, Yada knew her answer.

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**A/N: Aaaand here it is! Hope you didn't mind Yada's informal speech in the letters. Sorry for any awkwardness, this is my first time trying to write a love letter.**

**I'm soft for Yadamegu. I know there are a lot of people who ship Yada and Kurahashi and they're so cute! but damn. Yadamegu. Is what I **_**also **_**like (you see, I'm a huge multishipper). **

**Thanks for reading, please leave a comment if you have free time! :D**


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